Feedback & Difficult Conversations

Leadership Development · Week 4 · 2 Scenarios

Leadership Development · Week 4

Feedback & Difficult Conversations

Use these scenarios for team coaching sessions, 1:1 debriefs, or certification preparation

1

Scenario 1

The Chronically Late Employee

Situation

Sam is a solid performer but has been 15–20 minutes late three times in the past two weeks. The team is starting to notice. You need to address it before it becomes a pattern — and before it affects morale.

Your Task

Deliver clear, behavioral feedback without damaging the relationship.

Step-by-Step Guidance

1

Address it privately and promptly — do not let it fester or call it out in front of others.

2

Use the SBI model: Situation, Behavior, Impact. "In our 9am standups this week (S), you arrived 15–20 minutes late three times (B). The team waits, and it sets the tone for the day (I)."

3

Stick to observable facts — avoid "you always" or assumptions about why.

4

Ask an open question: "What is going on?" — there may be a legitimate or solvable cause.

5

Agree on a specific expectation and a follow-up point.

6

Document the coaching conversation yourself; escalate to HR only if it moves to formal corrective action.

Facilitator Debrief

Most feedback fails because it is vague, late, or about character ("you are unreliable") instead of behavior ("you arrived late three times"). Behavioral, timely, private feedback preserves the relationship while still holding the line.

Key Principle

Praise the person, coach the behavior: feedback is about what someone did, never who they are.

2

Scenario 2

The Defensive Reaction

Situation

You give a team member, Alex, constructive feedback about a missed client deliverable. Alex immediately becomes defensive: "That was not my fault — the client changed the spec, and besides, nobody told me the deadline moved."

Your Task

Stay calm, de-escalate, and keep the conversation productive.

Step-by-Step Guidance

1

Do not match the defensiveness — lower your tone and slow down.

2

Acknowledge the kernel of truth: "You are right that the spec changed — that is real."

3

Separate the explanation from the accountability: "Let's figure out what we each could do differently next time."

4

Refocus on the shared goal (the client outcome), not on blame.

5

Ask Alex what support would have helped — invite ownership rather than imposing it.

6

End with a concrete agreement and reaffirm your confidence in them.

Facilitator Debrief

Defensiveness is a signal of perceived threat, not bad faith. The manager's job is to make it safe to be accountable. Meeting defensiveness with more pressure escalates it; meeting it with curiosity defuses it.

Key Principle

Make accountability safe: people own mistakes faster when they are not bracing for attack.

Interviewing, Hiring & Orientation Performance Reviews & Coaching